Ron I FOUND THE POT OF GOLD!!!!!!
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Ron Wisdom
- Blackwood
- Posts: 420
- Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:18 am
- Location: Arkansas, USA
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Paul B
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Ron Wisdom
- Blackwood
- Posts: 420
- Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:18 am
- Location: Arkansas, USA
This porta-potty reminds me of a past event in my life.
My good buddy Michael and I were playing golf at a course that we frequented and the owners knew us well.
Back then playing golf with Michael meant also consuming very large quantities of beer, insulting each other, doing what ever we could to beat the other one.
At one of the tees that was near a pond was a porta-potty just like the one in the pic. I was pissed at Michael and he went in to use the porta-potty. So I drove the golf cart right up against the door so he could not get out.......
He started swearing at me and threatening to beat my arse when he got out. Michael was over 240 lbs, I weighed 155....... Any way I was NOT going to move the cart and let him out with him threatening me. So I decided to rock the porta-potty with the golf cart. From inside he was screaming "Hesh cut it out, it's sloshing around in here...." But he continued to call me names so I used the golf cart to push the porta-potty (they are on skids) into the pond.......
It dropped into the pond, tipped over and was now floating out into the pond with the door side up. The door flew open and there was Michael covered in your know what looking like he was in a canoe filled with, well you know......
The golf course management called the police but decided to not press charges since they knew us but we were both banned for a year/season.
Michael forgave me after he walked home, I would not let him ride in my car.......
My good buddy Michael and I were playing golf at a course that we frequented and the owners knew us well.
Back then playing golf with Michael meant also consuming very large quantities of beer, insulting each other, doing what ever we could to beat the other one.
At one of the tees that was near a pond was a porta-potty just like the one in the pic. I was pissed at Michael and he went in to use the porta-potty. So I drove the golf cart right up against the door so he could not get out.......
He started swearing at me and threatening to beat my arse when he got out. Michael was over 240 lbs, I weighed 155....... Any way I was NOT going to move the cart and let him out with him threatening me. So I decided to rock the porta-potty with the golf cart. From inside he was screaming "Hesh cut it out, it's sloshing around in here...." But he continued to call me names so I used the golf cart to push the porta-potty (they are on skids) into the pond.......
It dropped into the pond, tipped over and was now floating out into the pond with the door side up. The door flew open and there was Michael covered in your know what looking like he was in a canoe filled with, well you know......
The golf course management called the police but decided to not press charges since they knew us but we were both banned for a year/season.
Michael forgave me after he walked home, I would not let him ride in my car.......
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Ron Wisdom
- Blackwood
- Posts: 420
- Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:18 am
- Location: Arkansas, USA
Yep Ron we are still golfing buddies and the tricks have in some cases gotten grosser, to gross to tell on line.........
We both have those fart machines too that you put secretly in the other guys bag and then press the remote control when a pretty lady walks by........
Michael can hit a drive 300+ yards every time and I can only, on a good day, hit 230. But he putts like he drives - 300 yards so I catch up around the greens.
Our pal Dave Anderson told me a joke today and I hope he does not mind if I tell it here:
A guy shows up in the emergency room all beaten up and with a five iron bent around his neck. The docs asked him what happened and here is what he told them.
He was playing golf with his wife and at one hole near a farmer's field with cows grazing they both hit their balls into the field. So they are in the field looking for the balls and the guy sees something white plugged into a cows butt and goes over there, lifts it's tail, and sure enough it's his wife's ball complete with her monogram.
While holding up the cows tail he yells over to his wife "Honey, this looks like yours." That, he told the docs was the last thing that he remembered!!!!
Dave gets the credit for that one
We both have those fart machines too that you put secretly in the other guys bag and then press the remote control when a pretty lady walks by........
Michael can hit a drive 300+ yards every time and I can only, on a good day, hit 230. But he putts like he drives - 300 yards so I catch up around the greens.
Our pal Dave Anderson told me a joke today and I hope he does not mind if I tell it here:
A guy shows up in the emergency room all beaten up and with a five iron bent around his neck. The docs asked him what happened and here is what he told them.
He was playing golf with his wife and at one hole near a farmer's field with cows grazing they both hit their balls into the field. So they are in the field looking for the balls and the guy sees something white plugged into a cows butt and goes over there, lifts it's tail, and sure enough it's his wife's ball complete with her monogram.
While holding up the cows tail he yells over to his wife "Honey, this looks like yours." That, he told the docs was the last thing that he remembered!!!!
Dave gets the credit for that one
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Ron Wisdom
- Blackwood
- Posts: 420
- Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:18 am
- Location: Arkansas, USA
Ha!
That reminds me of the one where the scratch golfer goes golfing one day with his wife. As he's about to tee-off, she's standing on the women's tees, direclty in his line of sight but she figures he's such a good golfer there shouldn't be any problems... Well, just as luck would have it, he skulls the drive and hits her square in the head, killing her outright!
As he's standing in the hospital, a doctor comes over to talk to the man. He says, 'Sir, there's something I don't quite understand... We found one ball in her cranium and the coroner decuded that that was the lethal blow, however, we also found a ball lodged deeply in her anal cavity'
'Oh, that!' exclaims the man, 'That was just my Mulligan...'
That reminds me of the one where the scratch golfer goes golfing one day with his wife. As he's about to tee-off, she's standing on the women's tees, direclty in his line of sight but she figures he's such a good golfer there shouldn't be any problems... Well, just as luck would have it, he skulls the drive and hits her square in the head, killing her outright!
As he's standing in the hospital, a doctor comes over to talk to the man. He says, 'Sir, there's something I don't quite understand... We found one ball in her cranium and the coroner decuded that that was the lethal blow, however, we also found a ball lodged deeply in her anal cavity'
'Oh, that!' exclaims the man, 'That was just my Mulligan...'
'Hunting sober is like ...fishing...sober'
excellent Al!!!
OK these two guitar builders have been getting together every year for 20 years to go deer hunting when deer hunting season opens. We will call these two guys Al and Hesh.....
So....this year Al and Hesh get together and the conversation soon turns to the fact that for 20 years neither Al nor Hesh has killed a single deer. In fact they have never even seen a deer......
So Al says to Hesh that he has an idea - they should split up this time and go around the woods in different directions meeting on the other side in a few hours. This will double their chances. They agree and set off in their respective directions.
About 2 hours later Al sees something moving in the bushes and in his excitement he empties his 5 shot shot gun on the bushes. When Al runs over there to see if he got the deer he has a very different surprise.
There laying on the ground all bloody is Hesh. The next thing you know Al has gotten Hesh to the emergency room and while they are working on Hesh Al is pacing back and forth, all nervous and near tears.
Finally the doc comes out to speak with Al and tells Al that he has some very, very bad news - Hesh just left us......
Al swears and waves his arms and then finally approaches the doctor and asks "tell me doctor is there anything that I could have done to make it easier for poor old Hesh?"
The doctor gets a thoughtful look in his face and replies "It probably would have helped if you hadn't gutted him out......"
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Dave Anderson
- Blackwood
- Posts: 260
- Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2007 2:38 pm
- Location: Florida, USA
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Ron Wisdom
- Blackwood
- Posts: 420
- Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:18 am
- Location: Arkansas, USA
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Ron Wisdom
- Blackwood
- Posts: 420
- Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2007 1:18 am
- Location: Arkansas, USA
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